Sabahat Quadri Works


Male Friend, Not Boyfriend

m-asif asked:

One of my best friends from college is a boy. I have kept in touch with him, and I hang out with him every once in a while. But my mother thinks I should stop seeing him as it would be bad for me to have male friends when it come for time to marry. Do you think I should stop seeing him?

Rumi says:

Dear m-asif,

I can’t advise you to ignore your mother. But it might help you to be open and honest with your parent (tricky, I know). If you approach her and suggest that she meets with your friend, do you think she would be open to the idea? Perhaps you need to show her that you have no romantic feelings for your friend, and perhaps it would help to have him spend some time with her. Rather than sneak around and lie to her, you could ask her to extend the benefit of the doubt to you, show her that you are honest and straightforward with her, and that you respect her opinion.

Relationships with school friends are often innocent, but we all have fears of our children being led astray. The person you can bring home without fear is not someone your parents should object to. At least in your own home, and in front of your parents, they can be assured that your friendship is above board and not suspect in any way.

m-asif, don’t betray your mother’s trust. It’s precious, and something you will want in the later years of your life.

Hope it works out.

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